It's pretty certain that a zombie John Boehner wouldn't have much of a tan, but it's not clear if a zombie John Boehner would cry very much. Tears of blood wouldn't quite count, would they? Maybe they would, in which case zombie John Boehner almost certainly cries a great deal, just as regular John Boehner cries every time aids in the destruction of health, safety, and security for millions of Americans.

Of course, those are just crocodile tears that carry no emotional content, but neither do the tears of a zombie. The same is true of all the promises, protestations of morals, and other platitudes that come out of the biting, grasping mouths of such politicians.

Video of Zombie John Boehner created with ZombieBooth